Romance Scams: How Fake Relationships Drain Savings
What is this scam?
Romance scams are a form of fraud where scammers use fake online profiles on dating websites, apps, or social media platforms to establish romantic relationships with their targets. They often build a deep connection over time before eventually requesting money for personal emergencies or travel expenses. According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), victims lost $304 million in romance scams alone in 2021, making it one of the most damaging types of fraud. Scammers prey on loneliness and emotional vulnerability, causing significant financial and emotional harm.
How the scam works
Real examples
Alice met John on a dating app. They spoke every day about shared interests and life goals. After three months, John told Alice that he needed $10,000 to pay for emergency medical bills. Despite her doubts, she sent the money via wire transfer.
Bob got into an online relationship with Sarah who lived abroad. She began asking Bob to send small amounts of money to help her return home and visit him. Over several months, he had sent over $15,000 before realizing it was a scam.
Red flags to watch for
- The person avoids video calls or face-to-face meetings.
- They have an elaborate story about why they can't meet you in person.
- Their profile lacks personal information, photos are often stolen from other sources.
- Requests for money appear very early in the relationship.
- Pressure to move communication away from the original platform to more private channels.
Victim recovery plan
- 🚨 Contact your bank and credit card issuers to inform them of the scam and request a fraud alert on your accounts.
- 🚨 Change passwords for all online accounts, especially those related to finances and email. Use strong, unique passwords for each account.
- 🚨 Secure any devices used in communication with the scammer by changing login credentials and ensuring antivirus software is up-to-date.
- 🚨 Reach out to friends or family members you trust about your experience; they can provide support and help monitor for unusual activity.
- 📝 Report the scam to the Federal Trade Commission at reportfraud.ftc.gov, providing as much detail as possible including dates of contact and amounts sent.
- 📝 Submit a complaint with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) at ic3.gov, which will help in tracking and potentially identifying the scammers.
- 📝 Contact your local police department to file a report. This can be crucial for insurance claims or legal actions against the scammer.
- 📝 File a report with your state’s Attorney General office as they often have resources to assist victims of identity theft and fraud.
- 💳 If money was sent via gift cards, contact the relevant company (e.g., Walmart, Target) immediately to report fraudulent activity on your card numbers.
- 💳 Freeze credit at all three bureaus: Equifax (equifax.com/personal/credit-report-services), Experian (experian.com/freeze), and TransUnion (transunion.com/credit-freeze). This prevents the scammer from opening new accounts in your name.
- 💳 If you paid through a payment service, contact them to report fraud and request reimbursement if possible. Services like PayPal have policies for reversing transactions under certain conditions.
- 🔒 Review all accounts where personal information might have been compromised; close or secure any unauthorized accounts.
- 🔒 Consider signing up for a credit monitoring service to alert you of suspicious activity on your credit report.
- 🔒 Secure any shared access to your devices by changing passwords and ensuring security measures like two-factor authentication are in place.
- 💛 Recognize that these scammers are professionals who manipulate thousands of people; you were a target, not a fool.
- 💛 Talk to someone you trust about what happened. Sharing your experience can help validate your feelings and provide emotional support.
- 💛 Contact the AARP Fraud Watch Network helpline at 877-908-3360 for free support and advice on dealing with fraud.
- 📋 Monitor your credit reports weekly at annualcreditreport.com to catch any unauthorized activity early.
- 📋 Stay alert for follow-up scams targeting previous victims, such as requests for more money or offers of assistance that require payment.
- 📋 Regularly check and update privacy settings on social media platforms where you may have shared personal information with the scammer.
How scammers find you
- Dating websites
- Social media platforms
- Online chat rooms and forums
Related scams
Get weekly scam alerts
We break down one scam every week — what they say, how to spot it, and what to tell your family.